A British father has confessed he ‘doesn’t like’ his young son in a searingly honest blog post.
Writing anonymously for Medium, the father, who has separated from the boy’s mother, explained his son is a ‘terrific kid’ who is ‘smart, well-spoken and kind’ but he simply ‘has no interest in him’ and ‘couldn’t care less’ about seeing him.
‘I didn’t see him for nearly six months [over lockdown], and I did not care in the slightest,’ the father admitted. ‘I got sent photos and videos of him, 99 per cent of which I didn’t even bother to look at.’
Writing anonymously for Medium , the father, who has separated from the boy’s mother, explained his son is a ‘terrific kid’ who is ‘smart, well-spoken and kind’ but he simply ‘has no interest in him’ and ‘couldn’t care less’ about seeing him. Stock image
The father said he had felt this way ever since his son was born.
He wrote: ‘I never got that whole overwhelming, unconditional love that everyone talks about. He was just another person to me. I told myself it’s just because he’s a baby.
‘As he grows up, we’ll bond, but that never happened, then I told myself it’s just because he can’t talk or communicate properly.
‘However, then he could talk, and still, nothing changed. Each year I keep making excuses as to why I feel like this, trying to justify it by a lack of communication, or he’s too young for us to really do anything together. Each year I have to move those goalposts further until now I’m at a point where I don’t think I’ll ever like him.. and truly, I don’t know why.’
The writer explained that he spends weekends with his child out of a feeling of obligation.
The father explained his feelings were not related to his son’s behaviour because he is a ‘smart, well-spoken and kind’ boy
Don’t get me wrong, when I see him I take care of him, he’s well looked after, all his needs are met,’ he continued. ‘I take him to the park and stuff and do things with him, he’s really quite a happy young lad, but again, I do these things out of pure obligation, I don’t want to do them, I don’t enjoy spending time with him.’
The author’s father walked out on his family and he does not want his son to grow up without a father, he explained, justifying his reasons for playing a part in his son’s life.
He also said he couldn’t take the ‘backlash’ from his family if he was to be honest about his feelings.
He added: ‘I don’t really know what to do, and I’ve never spoken to anyone about this, so sorry for the wall of text it’s all just spilling out.
‘I want to love my son; I want to have that relationship that I never had with my dad.. but at the same time, I feel like I’m forcing something that isn’t there.’
The post was met with support from readers, who praised the father on being honest about his feelings and encouraged him to seek professional help from a therapist
The post was met with support from readers, who praised the father on being honest about his feelings and encouraged him to seek professional help from a therapist.
One reader commented: ‘Clearly you do care, or you wouldn’t have written this article looking for help. I can offer little advice other than talking to a professional on what has to be unresolved feelings with your own abandonment. I think the old adage holds true here…’
Another posted: ‘While I don’t feel that way about my own kids, as a father of three, I can certainly relate to that feeling. Men and women are wired differently, and we fathers often don’t have the same emotions towards our children as their mothers do.’
A third added: ‘Honestly just go to therapy. I’m pretty sure it’s related to getting abandoned by your dad, and maybe the thought of your son triggers something in you that causes you to avoid your emotions for him.’